Awrite troopsh?...
Good to feel hungry fir writin' again, courtesy o Papa G n some breakthrough I got on Friday night from him and my church family. This week has been really tough for me - really tough. The enemy has been bombarding me continually with abuse and has been fairly relentless in his attacks.
If you didn't read my last blog, I mentioned how Andy at church had lead his sermon on how what the enemy really wants above all is the authority that Jesus gave us spiritually. Well, he took it upon himself that this week he was out to try and get mine. If you don't have a Scoobert de Doo what I'm on about try reading my last blog and if that doesn't explain it to your satisfaction let me know and I'll write to you personally and get you kitted out wi some info.
So, yeah, the enemy's being having a field day with me this week, so much so that by Friday I was feeling the old feelings that I used to feel when I suffered from depression around 5 years ago - not good. The enemy has been hitting me with "you don't contribute to your house", "you'll never get a job", "you're nothing but a house slave" - there were plenty more, I can assure you, but i'm sure you get the picture. Now, normally when these fiery darts come my way I clearly hear them coming in and just laugh at him and before long the attacks stop, but this week he sent his "apathetic fog", as I call it, ahead of him which attacks me in a s.a.s. stealth stylee and before I knew it I was struggling to fight him off and then he really started work on me - it was relentless and I didn't know how to fight back with these lying thoughts. You know what its like? - If you put a frog in hot water it will jump straight out, but if you put it in cold water and slowly heat the water it will stay in the hot water and boil to death - that's how lost I felt this week.
The enemy was attacking my manhood (no, not my twig n two berries - sheesh!) and by standing all over that he started to rob me of my authority - the b#####d. The worst part about it is that I came into agreement with a couple of things he had whispered about - that's the thing with him - there's always an element of truth in what he says, but he twists it and makes it contorted thus contorting you, if you let him - that's what happened to me. I've since apologised to my lord for agreeing with the enemy and will try my best in future not to agree with anything he says - it will be tough, but I'm gonna try - I have to - there's no way I'm gonna be his slave - no chance!
By Friday night I had had enough and decided to text some of my bros and sis's and ask for their prayers to help me, what a response I got! - thank you all. I felt something shift as Lin was praying for me and giving me good advice and with the awesome covering prayer that was coming my way courtesy of my church family. My bud John said I should go read Psalm 35 and gain strength from it so I got out my Message Bible and got flicking. What an awesome passage! - I read it out loud in bed before going to sleep as I felt that doing that would help and left my bible open at the pages overnight and for the first time in a while slept really soundly.
Since Friday night I've felt good and a lot more "back on track" within myself, i'm so thankful to my church family, not just because they helped me, but because I knew I could reach out to them for help. I wonder how many churches don't have that bond?... I love that feeling of unity at our church, it's just awesome. I remember one day Richard, our pastor, got us to stand together, put our right arm around the person next to us and our left arm on the person in front. We stood in a square like Romans in a defensive position, it felt brilliant - that's how I think we should be at church and on our journey with Papa - tight together and if someone goes down in battle the others should pick him/her up, put him/her back on his/her feet and get back on with the battle. I don't know if I could go to a church without that type of fellowship as it is invaluable to me.
The whole thing with attacks is that they should be a learning curve, if you don't learn from them then the enemy will get you in the same place and with the same tactic every time. With good advice from my Church Mum (Yolanda) and Church Aunt (Mariette) I hope I've learned a little better how to handle these attacks.
I hope that if my bros n sisters ever need my prayers then they'll know to ask me.
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Church was good this morning, Linette lead worship even though she was quite stressed, she hadn't had enough time to prepare properly due to art commissions and deadlines and wasn't looking forward to "winging it". Turns out she did fine and the worship was great. We did a couple of old school Christmas tunes this morning which went down as well as the excellent mince pies that were on offer. :-) It's always nice when someone like Sarah Mayers makes the worship team a cup of tea whilst we're rehearsing or setting up, God bless her servant heart, we never have enough time to rehearse everything and are usually running around trying to put chord sheets together or soundcheck so when someone asks "would you like a cup of tea?" it's like someone saying "would you like a shot in my jacuzzi?" - "Yes, PLEASE!!" :-)
Andy Hall was speaking again today - what an annointed guy, he's never boring and always gives food for thought. Andy spoke about Jesus this morning - and why not? - it's his birthday coming up soon in't it? ;-)
I learned a few new things about him this morning, about how he wouldn't have had long hair, like most people's (mine included) misconceptions, about how when he met with the spirits of Moses and Elijah on the mountain, that he wasn't asking for council or just having a nice con-flab between spiritual troopsh - what he was really saying was "thanks for leading the way boys, but I'll take it from here and what I say will be final" - ooft! - Jesus rocks man, what authority!! \,,/
The main thing I got from Andy's sermon was Jesus was and will forever be the best Christmas present EVER.
Be blessed in your spiritual authority guys, have a wonderful Christmas, with all its non-sensical trappings, but above all, please try and remember why it's called CHRISTmas, eh? :-)
Have a good one - K x \,,/
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Sunday, 12 December 2010
12/12/10
Ooft! - it's nearly been a month since my last blog!, my apologies to anyone who bothers to read/care. I guess I still think of my blog as something I write for myself so, again, apologies to anyone who reads it for the belatedness of my digits to keys.
Hmmm, so what's been happening? - let me see... well, on a spiritual level and I'm gonna be honest, I've felt quite distant from Papa recently - probably the reason why I haven't been writing. One thing I've sussed out on my journey is that if you don't make time to be with Papa then he can sometimes feel really distant from you, even though he isn't - as it says in Jeremiah 29:13 - "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" - that is so true.
Being with Papa is like anything, if you put in the effort you will reap the reward of feeling him, if you don't you won't. If you spend time with him he will seem so much nearer to you, if you don't he won't, simple as.
One thing that has become clearer to me is that I need to surround myself with fellowship more than I have been doing as fellowship really does help me connect with God and just keep me on the guid path easier. Being a Christian isn't a walk in the ballpark by ANY means and walking that path is easier when surrounded by others on the same journey. Don't get me wrong, Linette helps me and guides me every day, and (hopefully) vice versa, but what I need is regular brotherly fellowship and/or church fellowship, more than I've been getting, so I intend to work on that and not let "I've not got any money" defeat me before I even bring the idea up. I agree with Linette when she says that if we agree with a poverty spirit it can become a law that we end up living under. Wise words.
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The days have been very hard for me recently, due to my lack of work - the never ending chores of housework with all the things that need doing every day and my debts staring me in the face haven't kept me that upbeat and if anything they've got me quite down. It was only this week when walking Ruby that something changed in me and I managed to return to a nice place of being able to talk to Papa again and have a giggle with him. Not that I'd stopped praying, just I hadn't made the effort to be with him. Now, I can't stress this enough - if you're struggling with anything then I would strongly advise you to make the effort, even though it will be hard and spend time with Papa. You might not think you've made any headway, but you will have - Papa hears your prayers and helps you every day, even when you're sure he hasn't - keep pressing in.
We all struggle with different strokes folks ("what you talkin' 'bout Willis?") - no, not THOSE Different Strokes!" ;-), none of us are perfect, we all have issues, sin, past and present damage, whatever and if we don't take it to Papa then we'll never be able to be shake these chains off and the enema, sorry, enemy, heh heh ;-) will always keep us in those chains.
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My mate Michael was leading the meeting at church today and one thing he asked us was what does Satan want from us? - to keep us imprisoned? to steal us away from God? - well, there was a few different thoughts from everyone in the congregation and to be honest they were probably all right, but the one Michael wanted to point out to us was that Satan wants to rid us of the authority that Jesus has given us.
Now, that's quite a thing if you think about it, isn't it? - he doesn't really give a stuff if we end up with a toasting fork up our jacksies for all eternity or if we want to sit at his left hand side up until the point he gets bored of us and chucks us into the fires - what he really wants is our authority.
Ha! Ha! Ha! - well guess what ya wee red fayrt?, it's not gonna happen! Having prophetically swallowed "the red pill" (ala 'Matrix' stylee) and suddenly having my eyes opening to what's really going on, why on earth would I want to give up such a precious gift from someone who loves me without question to someone who would rather have me out of the way?....
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A question has been going round and round in my head recently, I wonder if you've ever asked yourself the same?
1: Why would anyone ever want to be a follower of the enemy when all the enemy want is destruction?..
2: What would the enemy do if they ever got to destroy everything? - what would be left for them to do when they've destroyed everything?..
Everything about the enemy and what they're trying to achieve seems a complete waste of time...but then I guess I'm biased as I've felt my Father's love and his never ending love for me.
Thank you Father, thank you Jesus, my lord, and thank you Holy Spirit for continuing to nudge me when i'm heading off the path and putting me back on course. I love you.
Hmmm, so what's been happening? - let me see... well, on a spiritual level and I'm gonna be honest, I've felt quite distant from Papa recently - probably the reason why I haven't been writing. One thing I've sussed out on my journey is that if you don't make time to be with Papa then he can sometimes feel really distant from you, even though he isn't - as it says in Jeremiah 29:13 - "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" - that is so true.
Being with Papa is like anything, if you put in the effort you will reap the reward of feeling him, if you don't you won't. If you spend time with him he will seem so much nearer to you, if you don't he won't, simple as.
One thing that has become clearer to me is that I need to surround myself with fellowship more than I have been doing as fellowship really does help me connect with God and just keep me on the guid path easier. Being a Christian isn't a walk in the ballpark by ANY means and walking that path is easier when surrounded by others on the same journey. Don't get me wrong, Linette helps me and guides me every day, and (hopefully) vice versa, but what I need is regular brotherly fellowship and/or church fellowship, more than I've been getting, so I intend to work on that and not let "I've not got any money" defeat me before I even bring the idea up. I agree with Linette when she says that if we agree with a poverty spirit it can become a law that we end up living under. Wise words.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The days have been very hard for me recently, due to my lack of work - the never ending chores of housework with all the things that need doing every day and my debts staring me in the face haven't kept me that upbeat and if anything they've got me quite down. It was only this week when walking Ruby that something changed in me and I managed to return to a nice place of being able to talk to Papa again and have a giggle with him. Not that I'd stopped praying, just I hadn't made the effort to be with him. Now, I can't stress this enough - if you're struggling with anything then I would strongly advise you to make the effort, even though it will be hard and spend time with Papa. You might not think you've made any headway, but you will have - Papa hears your prayers and helps you every day, even when you're sure he hasn't - keep pressing in.
We all struggle with different strokes folks ("what you talkin' 'bout Willis?") - no, not THOSE Different Strokes!" ;-), none of us are perfect, we all have issues, sin, past and present damage, whatever and if we don't take it to Papa then we'll never be able to be shake these chains off and the enema, sorry, enemy, heh heh ;-) will always keep us in those chains.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My mate Michael was leading the meeting at church today and one thing he asked us was what does Satan want from us? - to keep us imprisoned? to steal us away from God? - well, there was a few different thoughts from everyone in the congregation and to be honest they were probably all right, but the one Michael wanted to point out to us was that Satan wants to rid us of the authority that Jesus has given us.
Now, that's quite a thing if you think about it, isn't it? - he doesn't really give a stuff if we end up with a toasting fork up our jacksies for all eternity or if we want to sit at his left hand side up until the point he gets bored of us and chucks us into the fires - what he really wants is our authority.
Ha! Ha! Ha! - well guess what ya wee red fayrt?, it's not gonna happen! Having prophetically swallowed "the red pill" (ala 'Matrix' stylee) and suddenly having my eyes opening to what's really going on, why on earth would I want to give up such a precious gift from someone who loves me without question to someone who would rather have me out of the way?....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A question has been going round and round in my head recently, I wonder if you've ever asked yourself the same?
1: Why would anyone ever want to be a follower of the enemy when all the enemy want is destruction?..
2: What would the enemy do if they ever got to destroy everything? - what would be left for them to do when they've destroyed everything?..
Everything about the enemy and what they're trying to achieve seems a complete waste of time...but then I guess I'm biased as I've felt my Father's love and his never ending love for me.
Thank you Father, thank you Jesus, my lord, and thank you Holy Spirit for continuing to nudge me when i'm heading off the path and putting me back on course. I love you.
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